Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Hello, my friends, and welcome back to this week's episode of the Practical Parsha Podcast. This is Rabbi Shlomo Cohen, and I hope you are well.
[00:00:08] We're back for another great episode of the Practical Parsha Podcast.
[00:00:13] And before we jump right into this parsha, if you have any questions, comments, would like to say hello, don't hesitate, send me that email. Rabbi shlomokon k o h nmail.com I'd love to hear from you.
[00:00:29] This week's Parsha is Parshas Chayasara.
[00:00:33] Now, just to give a quick overview of the parsha. The Parsha begins with the death of Sarah, the death of Sarah, the wife of Avram.
[00:00:43] Now, the reason that the Midrashim tell us that Sarah passed away was that the angel of death, Satan, he, he played a trick on her. He showed her the image of Yitzchak actually being slaughtered, and the shock of that caused her soul to leave her.
[00:01:04] The Parasha begins with Avraham Avinu, after coming back from, you know, this test of the binding of Yitzchak, his wife has passed away and now he has to find a place, a proper burial place for. And actually, according to some opinions, this passing of Sarah was the 10th Test, which was harder than all the other tests.
[00:01:31] And actually I've talked about this on other year's episodes, but the Parsha tells us how Avramavinu Abraham searches out for a proper burial place. He purchases the cave of Machpelah from Ephron Hahiti, who is like a, you know, he's a. At first he offers it for free to Avraham Avinu, and then Avram realizes his true intentions and sells it and buys it from Ephron for a very exorbitant price, giving him full price in cash, everything there. Avram buries Sarah and the Parsha turns to Avram needing to find a wife for his son Yitzchak and living in the land of Canaan, the land, the nation of Canaan, is not suitable for Yitzchak to find a wife. And he tasks his servant Eliezer, the servant of Avraham Avinu, to go to Aram Naharayim, to the relatives of his father's house, to the relatives of Avraham's, uh, father's house, to find a suitable match for Yitzchak from his relatives and to bring her back to get married to Yitzchak. And the Parsha tells us how Eliezer, the servant of Avraham Avinu goes and he makes a deal with God, when he arrives in Aram Nahrayim, he says that when I ask a girl for water, a little bit of water, she's not gonna just offer to give me water, but she'll be willing to give all my camels water, which is a tremendous amount. And that's gonna be my sign. And miraculously, Rivkah, daughter of Bsuel, who actually is related to Avraham, Avinu to Abraham, as he, you know, as he desired, he wanted Eliezer to find a wife for Yitzchak from his family, comes and approaches Eliezer. And this miraculous sign that Eliezer, you know, asks from God, it happens exactly that way. He asks for a little bit of water. And she says, I'm not going to just, you know, give you water, but I'm going to give all your camels water.
[00:03:58] After Rivkah passes the test, Eliezer turns to her and says, whose daughter are you?
[00:04:05] Who's your father?
[00:04:07] And she says, I'm the daughter of Buel. And he asks her, is there place. Is there lodging in your father's house for me to stay overnight? And she says yes. And she runs home and tells her father what happens. And actually the Parsha continues with a few chapters of the back and forth between Eliezer, the servant of Avramavinu, and Bisuel, the father of Rebekah, Rivkah and Lavan, the brother of Rivkah. And Eliezer recounts his whole miraculous story and who he is, who his master is, he's the servant of Avram.
[00:04:43] And he asks to take their daughter back to get married to Yitzchak and Rivkah's family. They ask her what she wants to do, and she decides to go back with Eliezer to get married to Yitzchak. The Parsha finishes up with Avram Um, remarrying the death of Avram um and the genealogy of Yishmael, different years that he lived and his ages. And actually this is important for later on, different calculations. We use the age of Yishmael to give us the age of other individuals and timelines in the Torah as well. The first idea I want to share with you today takes us to the exchange this sail that the Torah records of the cave of Machpelah, Ma' Aris Hamachpela. And actually Ma' Aris Hamachpela people visit it in Israel today.
[00:05:37] All the patriarchs and the matriarchs, except for Rachel. Rachel are, uh, buried in the cave of Machpelah, which is in Hebron, Israel. And Actually, Avraham Avinu, when he.
[00:05:48] And Avraham Avinu, when he wanted to bury Sarah, he came to Ephron and the leaders of the area.
[00:05:58] And at first you see very clearly in the verses that they offer this land to Avraham Avinu to Abraham for free. Avram was a very, you know, esteemed individual. He was very famous, he was very well known.
[00:06:12] It was almost as if it was an honor for them to give him their land so he could bury his dead.
[00:06:19] And the Parsha recounts as a back and forth, Avram is, you know, I'll pay the money for the field. And we see the lead negotiator, who is Ephron, we see it says in the posseq. He says, yep, this land, it's worth 400 silver coins. But what is that between me and you? What is that between friends? Take, take the field.
[00:06:40] And what is the next verse in the Torah? Vayishma Avraham Elephron Vayishko Avram Lefron ESA kesef asher Dover, Dover be oznei b' nei ches arbo mel shekho kesef oyver la soicher. And Avram heard Ephron. And Avram weighed for Ephron the silver which he spoke about in the ears of the B', Naichais, 400 shekels of silver that merchants used, meaning after the whole back and forth. Even when Ephron said he was going to give it to him for free, Avram heard and he gave them the money. And he didn't just give them any money. He gave them money that was acceptable everywhere. That's what it means that it was the money that merchants use. It was universal currency. It was a very high quality, um, level of money.
[00:07:31] And he gave it to them.
[00:07:33] So there's a very important lesson, I think, that we see here from this week's Parasha. I saw it brought down from Rabbi Pliskin Ephron, they call him, you know, the. He was like the epitome of a guy who tries to be your best friend.
[00:07:48] He wanted to be Avraham's friend. He's like, what is it between me and you? 400 shekels. It's nothing. We're both very wealthy.
[00:07:55] Take the fields and it says, bury your dead. That's what Ephron said.
[00:07:59] And Avram, no, he heard, what does it mean? Vayishma Avram, he heard.
[00:08:04] And then he weighed out the coins, he paid out the money.
[00:08:08] There's a very important lesson here.
[00:08:10] And I think it can be useful for us when we deal with others.
[00:08:14] Many times people say things, but they don't really mean what they say. You know, sometimes it's communication issues. People are not able to communicate clearly, and sometimes their words are hiding their true emotion, their true feelings.
[00:08:35] So Ephron, he was trying to be a nice guy, but really in his heart, he wanted the money.
[00:08:45] And that's why he said it was inferred in his wording when he said, uh, what's the 400, you know, coins between me and you? He signaled out the amount of money that the field was worth when he was offering it for free to Avraham, Avinu, to Abraham and Avram. He heard.
[00:09:10] He understood right away where Ephron's heart really was.
[00:09:16] He understood the true meaning of. Of what he was trying to tell him, that his true desire was that he wanted money for the field, even though he's trying to act like a big shot and, you know, give it for free, but really deep down, he wanted that money. This is a very powerful lesson for us because many times people say things, but they don't mean what they say.
[00:09:41] And I think when we have this, you know, able to decipher or we're able to learn the true meanings of what others say, it helps us be better people ourselves, that we're able to deal with people better. And I think it helps us avoid disputes and fights.
[00:10:01] A few examples that Rabbi Plisken brings down is that sometimes people make a belittling remark about something they just did.
[00:10:08] So why would a person who someone's working hard on a project and they knock themselves, that probably means that they want a compliment, right? Additionally, when we offer our help to people, people sometimes say, I could do it myself. It's not so difficult, right? So, you know, we take the words at face value.
[00:10:30] They're fine.
[00:10:31] But really, they might be shy, they might be embarrassed.
[00:10:37] Are we sure that's what they truly mean?
[00:10:40] And I think this is also something which is, I think, between men and women as well.
[00:10:46] Men, a lot of times take things at face value, and women are not always able to express what they're truly feeling, what they truly want.
[00:11:00] I could just think of. Everyone could think in their own marriage, in their own life.
[00:11:05] Sometimes when a wife is telling a husband all her problems, she doesn't necessarily want the husband to fix all the problems. She just wants someone to listen to her and to empathize with her. And I think this is, uh, a very important tool to learn to hear Learn to understand. And I think it has a lot of layers to it. You know, it's knowing what people need, our spouses, our friends, our loved ones, and even, uh, on a deeper level when it comes to others.
[00:11:38] There's a famous story that someone came to Rabchaim of Brisk, I believe, and said to him, he said, rabbi, is it okay if I use milk for the four cups of wine?
[00:11:52] And Rabchaim thought about that for a second, and he said, that's a great question, and it's probably better to err on the side of caution and take this money, then I'll give you this money now to go buy wine.
[00:12:05] And Rav Chaim, he gave the person a lot more money than what was necessary, not just to buy wine. He gave him enough money to buy a lot of things. And someone asked him, why did you give him so much more money?
[00:12:18] So he said, if someone's coming to ask me a question, if they could use milk for the four cups of wine, they must be in a situation where they don't have money for any of their needs for Pesach, for Passover, right? So I want to give them everything they need. Not just for wine, but for everything.
[00:12:36] And similarly. Similarly. So I myself, you know, one time it bothered me very much, and someone asked me about something, and maybe I should have been a little bit more cognizant. I should have heard a little better what they really needed.
[00:12:52] We need to have that mindset that to try to hear what people really mean, to understand where they're coming from. And I think it will help us be better people and be able to fill the needs of others.
[00:13:07] Second idea I want to share with you today takes us to where the Torah turns from the conversation of the cave of Machpelah, of burying Sarah, burying Sarah, the wife of Avraham, to Avraham finding a wife for Yitzchak, for Isaac. And the.
[00:13:28] The verses begin by talking about Abraham. It says in the posseq va Avraham Zakin Bob Bayamim Vashem Beirach es Avram Bako. Now, Avram was old well on in years. And Hashem, uh, had blessed Avraham with. With everything.
[00:13:45] And the question that's asked is, what's the double wording over here? Right? We said Avraham was old.
[00:13:54] And then the pasuk, the verse repeats itself. He was well on in years.
[00:13:59] Why is the pasuk, uh, saying it twice?
[00:14:03] So we know that everything is exact. And there's a deeper meaning here. There's a message that the Torah is trying to tell us. And I saw brought down from Rabbi Twersky and other commentaries. They talk about this idea that when we think of being old, we don't want to be old, we want to be young. There's such an industry today. There's such a big plastic surgery industry, Botox, all this type of makeup people do to not look old. We dye our hair. We try to do all these things. We don't want to look old, we want to be young.
[00:14:40] But is that necessarily the right attitude?
[00:14:44] So we see Brahmavarmavinu from the fact that the verses, it repeats itself that he was old and well on in years.
[00:14:52] We see that Avram lived his life in a way that being old wasn't something which was scary. It wasn't something which he was afraid about.
[00:15:06] You know, many times, unfortunately, people go through life and they have regrets. We all have regrets.
[00:15:15] But sometimes the older people get, the more regrets they have, and they're looking back at their life, at all the things they should have done and could have done.
[00:15:29] Maybe they should have spent more time with their family.
[00:15:33] Maybe they had spent too much time at work and not with their family.
[00:15:38] Maybe they should have made the proper decisions.
[00:15:42] The list goes on and on.
[00:15:45] We see over here in this verse about Avram, that when it came to him getting old, there was no regrets. There was no looking back. What I should have, what I could have done.
[00:15:59] Avram Abraham lived his life every day to the fullest.
[00:16:05] He did everything he was supposed to do.
[00:16:07] He was trying to fulfill the will of Hashem, and that's how he lived his life.
[00:16:12] So therefore, when it came to him being old, there was no regrets. There was only looking forward because he had appreciation.
[00:16:22] It was a life well lived.
[00:16:24] It was something he could look back on and feel good about.
[00:16:27] And I think this is, uh, an important mindset when it comes to ourselves and the things we do. You know, what's truly important, and Robert Twersky brings down, is that most people, when it comes toward the end of their life, they don't regret that they should have worked more or they don't regret that they shouldn't have done. You know, the regrets are all the time, what I could have done better, how I could have been a better person, how I could have been a better father, how I could have been closer to my family, how I could have had a stronger relationship with Hashem. We're not regretting, oh, I should have had a better car. I should have stayed at work longer.
[00:17:04] I should have, uh, gone to the baseball game. I don't know. But the point is, we have. The regrets that people have are on the higher realms.
[00:17:14] I think how that helps us now is that when we have these opportunities to spend time with our children, to spend time with our family, to learn Torah, uh, to accomplish, to do good things for others, to get close to Hashem, now is the time.
[00:17:30] Now is the time we want to look back at our life and have that good feeling. We want to be full. They should be. We should. You know, Avraham was old and full with his days. He was well on in his days that he was. He had no regrets and a life well lived. That's what we want. So, uh, it's something that we need to think about now as we're going through our life, no matter which point we're at. So that when we come, God willing, after 120, towards the, you know, the beginning of the next chapter, we feel very confident and good where we're going.
[00:18:06] The last idea I want to share with you today takes us to the story of Eliezer Rivkah. And it's a little bit. This idea is a svasemes brought down by the great Hasidic master, the Sephsemes.
[00:18:19] And I thought it was just a beautiful idea which I wanted to talk a little about today.
[00:18:25] And he asked the following questions.
[00:18:28] We know that the story of Eliezer and Rivkah is spoke about extensively in the Torah.
[00:18:39] The parsha tells us in detail, multiple paragraphs, about Eliezer making this deal with Hashem with G D.
[00:18:48] And how the story happens exactly how as he makes this deal with Hashem, it happens exactly the way he says it's to happen.
[00:18:57] And then when Eliezer goes to the house of Rivkah, Eliezer repeats the whole story. How he made this promise that if a girl comes to him and says, I will give you, you know, he's gonna ask the girl for a little bit of water and she's gonna give him enough for everything. And he repeats his whole story again.
[00:19:12] What's going on over here? The Torah is very spearing with its words. Everything is exact. And now we're just going on pages and sentences that talk about this back and forth between Eliezer and Rivkah. What's going on?
[00:19:29] And this is not my question.
[00:19:31] This is a question which is brought down in the commentaries in Talmud.
[00:19:36] And the answer that is given is that is Yofeh sichasan shal avdi avais mi tyrasan mei vnei. Vanes that greater is the speech of the servants of Avram of our forefathers, than the Torah of their children, than the Torah of Avram's descendants.
[00:20:02] And the question that's asked is, what does this mean?
[00:20:07] What's so special about the talk, the conversation of the servant of Avramavinu more than his children?
[00:20:18] And additionally the swasemas asks, what's this, um, understanding of yafe, Right? What's the wording that we use? We use a specific word. Yaffe means beautiful. Beautiful is the speech of the servants of our forefathers more than the Torah of their children. Why does the midrash use this term of yaffe that it's beautiful?
[00:20:42] Uh, use, uh, a different word of chashav. It's very special.
[00:20:46] So to answer this question, the sesame brings down that we know in ethics of our fathers, in Pirqiyavas, it also uses this term yaffe. And the term it's used when it's describing this world.
[00:21:00] Yafe sha' ah asem toyvim boylam hazeh mikol chayyo maboh.
[00:21:07] Beautiful is one moment of learning Torah and doing good deeds in this world. Then all of the existence in the world to come. And to understand this, the Sephasemes says that if you think about beauty, what does it mean to be beautiful?
[00:21:26] Beauty can only be beautiful if there's a contrast, if there's, you know, if there's dark, so then there can be light when there's many lights, so then you can't, uh. A, uh, candle is not going to do anything.
[00:21:41] The way that we have beautiful beauty, right, is because there are things not as beautiful.
[00:21:46] So therefore you could have something beautiful, right? Because of the contrast, because of things that are, I guess, ugly. There's beauty, right? When. Because there's darkness, there's light.
[00:21:58] And this idea is a very important idea because we know that this world that we live in, the physical world we're in, it's hidden there is. It resembles darkness. And especially after the Beis Hamigdash is destroyed, the Shechina, the divine Presence, is even more clouded. It's more dark. It's harder to see Hashem.
[00:22:22] And our job really to think about when Hashem created the world.
[00:22:27] Hashem is unlimited. He limited himself by creating this world, by creating a physical world for us.
[00:22:36] And it's not easy to see Hashem. It's not revealed. It's something that we have to use our eye to find, to seek out. It's not clear, you know, because at this point in time, that's how Hashem wants it. He wants it that there is this darkness. And we have to go through the effort of bringing out that light to find the beauty, to find him.
[00:23:01] And when Mashiach's gonna come, and in the world to come, the challenge that we will have of, you know, discerning that beauty, of finding that light is not going to be even close to what we have now.
[00:23:18] And the act of us bringing out that light is one of the most special things to Hashem. Um, so just going back to our question now, this concept of why is the Torah speaking for pages and pages about this, the talk between Eliezer and Rivkah, the slave of Avraham, right? And we have this concept in the midrash that's brought down that beautiful is the speech of the servants of our forefathers.
[00:23:54] And with this understanding, it comes out that, what did Eliezer do?
[00:24:00] Eliezer, he was a servant of Avraham. Avinu. He's a servant of Abraham. That was the first thing he said. He said, I am a servant of Avram. It was his badge of honor.
[00:24:11] Avram represented Hashem in this world. He represented what Hashem wanted.
[00:24:16] And he made this. This miracle happened where, you know, this. He said, uh, if a girl comes to me, uh, and offers to fill all my camels. And it happened exactly the way he said it would happen. And he came to the house of Bisuel, the father of Rivkan, to love on. These were evil people. They were bad people. Rivkah was pure. She was good, but her family was not so good. And he enthusiastically tells them about all the miraculous things that Hashem has done for him.
[00:24:47] And it's clear from the psukim, from the verses, that it affected them, that it made an impression upon them, that he was able to reveal the light of Hashem even in the darkest place. And that's why it uses yaffe, that's what it uses, the term beautiful, because beauty is in a place of contrast. And Eliezer was able to bring out the light of Hashem, to bring out that Hashem is running the world, even in the darkest place, to the most evil people. And they were able to recognize that. And that's what it means. Yofeh Sichasan shel avde avos that. That was what Eliezer did. That was his job, to bring that out in the world.
[00:25:29] And I think this is a very powerful idea for us because we think of ourselves in different situations, and we're like, what am I doing here? You know, myself included. Sometimes I find myself in places and thinking, like, what am I doing here? It's maybe not the best for my, uh, spirituality. We hear things that we don't want to hear. We see things that we shouldn't see.
[00:25:53] You know, we're bombarded with things and the darkness is all around us. And we think to ourselves, like, what's going on here? Like, what am I doing here? Like, what's going to be with my Ruhnius? What's going to be with my spirituality? And I think we have to realize that our job is to be like Eliezer, to be that servant of Hashem, where we're able to find that contrast, to bring out the light, to bring out the beauty. And I think when we live with our values, when we live with the Torah and the mitzvahs and it's. And it's upon us, and we have that excitement for it. No matter what environment we're in, whether we're working with non Jewish people or Jewish people, no matter who it is, no matter what situation.
[00:26:44] And we bring that excitement and we bring who we are, and we're truly authentic about it, people will come to the realization that there's something there, that there's. They'll see the beauty of Hashem, they'll see the beauty of Torah, they'll see the beauty of mitzvahs. They'll realize that there's something to you, there's something more to you that's different.
[00:27:06] And I think that's a powerful lesson we see from this week's parsha. And that's why these speeches, this talk of Eliezer and Rivkah, why it's repeated and talked about, because it's a lesson for us when we live our lives, that even no matter which conversations we're in, no matter the small talk we have, we have to have this focus of bringing out light, to bring out beauty.
[00:27:33] And when we're real about it and, uh, we mean it and we have that excitement, people will recognize it. And that's beautiful, to recognize Hashem, to recognize the light. And that's our job now in this world that we have to do later on, we're not going to have that opportunity. So I think that's a very powerful lesson we see from this week's Parsha.
[00:27:57] And I hope that we could use this as inspiration for us that no matter where we are, we can be that light, find that beauty, to be the best people we can. So with that, I'm finished with today's podcast. If you have any questions, comments, or would like to reach out, feel free to send me an email at Rabbi Shlomo kon k o h nmail.com have a great day.
